Ten Reasons Why I Cry

My parents would always reprimand me every time I cry. They would always say that I should stop crying since it is “malas” and it reveals weakness BUT then I can’t help it.

  

Crying answers my, “what went wrong?” questions

Crying reassures me that I have exerted enough effort.

Crying tells me, “You have given your best!”

Crying teaches me to humble myself.

Crying gives me comfort.

Crying leads me to realizations.

Crying opens me to possibilities of improvement.

 Crying makes me feel that I can feel.

Crying reminds me that there is learning in every downfall, because,

Crying continuously reminds me that I am strong… stronger that I know.

Lately, I have been crying over a wrong decision. Yes, yes, I know, don’t cry over a spilled milk but it is so hard to admit that I have disappointed my parents and at some point myself but then I guess I am already in the process of slowly accepting the fact that life is not perfect and not everything I want will happen.

All along, I thought that LS if for me, that I am ready and this I what I want but boy I was wrong. My one-month of stay changed the way I see things, the way I handle my self and the way I interact with people. I felt that I slowly lost the strengths I gained in college, my passion to learn, and my inquisitiveness vanished. I wanted the wrong things, which I know is unscrupulous. I needed to save my self.

As I write this blog entry, I am lost. I don’t know what to do and where to go but I have to admit that I am relieved and happy. I guess, I am crying over the situation to continuously remind me of the pain, the pain that will teach me a lifelong lesson. I know that the next time I enroll again, I am prepared and more than prepared to whatever storm that may I come. I also, promise (to myself) that next time I see the portals of the main building; I will be the best student.

I hope and pray that before this month ends, I would find the path that I truly desire. Lord, tulong pls? too much crying, i crei. 

x

(did not proofread this post)